


Do You Know When You Look at Me, it is a Salvation?

by holhorsinaround



Category: Ghost in the Shell
Genre: F/M, Fan Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2015-10-27
Packaged: 2018-04-28 12:34:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5090927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holhorsinaround/pseuds/holhorsinaround
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unsaid words, and even quieter {thoughts.}</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do You Know When You Look at Me, it is a Salvation?

{{{I am feeling very warm right now}}}  
{{{Please don't disappear}}}  
{{{I am spacing out with you}}}  
{{{You are the most beautiful entity that I've ever dreamed of}}}

***

 

Batou stood overlooking the city lights from his apartment window. He didn't have a balcony. He had a three room apartment. Kitchen, bathroom, bedroom. He had an intense yearning inside of him that he could not pinpoint where.

Nor could he pinpoint what he yearned for.

A phantom, a feeling like that of a ghost.

He leaned against his windowsill and sighed out into the city, staring. His gaze was listless, unfullfilled.

He glanced over his shoulder toward his bed. He could retreat. Retreat into the dark of the cyberworld. He could feel there.

It felt as fake as it was.

His eyes turned toward the bedside table. A vase holding a variety of flowers sat there. He scoffed, embarrassed and feeling stupid.

It wasn't exactly true, not knowing what he yearned for. He knew. He certainly knew.

He leaned out of his window somewhat, staring down below. Ten stories. Twelve. Fourteen. He was fourteen stories up. How tall of a height did it take to kill a man?

Not that it'd kill him.

And not that he wanted to die.

He remembered he'd once read somewhere, something about cats being able to fall at terrible heights, but not get hurt the further they fall.

Cats were miraculous.

He stared out again, toward the harbor. Toward the vacant mini mall. Toward the cyber towers.

{You're up late, Batou.}

Batou snorted as a smile came to his lips. The Major's voice came over the cybercomm slowly.

{Evening, Major. You're up late, too.}

{Well, of course. I don't sleep easily these days.}

Batou took a moment to respond. He felt around, his eyes closed. He could always tell when the Major was near, but he couldn't feel her tonight.

{Look lower.}

He laughed and leaned out over the windowsill. He scanned the road below.

{The other direction!}

He smirked. He continued to scan, his ponytail hanging over his shoulder as he leaned out. {Come up here, then. Don't leave me hanging.} Ever playful.

He saw a form walk out from a sideroad, the body-camoflague hiding her in the dark. {Say please.}

He cupped his hands to his mouth, smiling. "Please!"

He heard Motoko's laugh ring out in the chilled night air as she jogged toward his building. She jumped and climbed the ledges to the fourteenth floor as Batou reached down for her hand. He helped her in through his window as she continued her laughter, as if music.

She made him want to write poetry.

If only he were more creative.

He felt her cling to his arm in friendly jest. "You've been absent lately."

"Have I?"

"Don't play games, Batou." He smiled. She'd seen right through him, to say the least. "Where have you been?"

It doesn't matter, he thought. "I've been around. With the tachikomas, the mechanics, you know."

She straightened herself up, her arm still around his. "You are avoiding me."

"What?" Was he? At this point, he didn't know. Sometimes, maybe. Intentionally? Never.

"Batou?" She'd pulled away from him and was moving around his bedroom. She'd jumped him from his thoughts. He looked up, finding her by his bed.

"Wai--"

"Batou, these are gorgeous. I didn't know you were a flowers-type guy." She had pulled the two-day old bouquet from the vase. The water dripped meaninglessly to the floor, scattering on the wood.

"I didn't know you were a flowers-type girl." She laughed again. The bouquet came to her face.

He turned back to the window and leaned on the sill.

{Batou?}

"Yeah?"

He glanced over his shoulder, her eyes closed and still in the bouquet. The moon and city lights played over her figure. {Batou.}

{Motoko?}

Suddenly, she was at his side, the bouquet scattering petals over the floor as it pressed into his arm. "Batou, link me." She was pulling him to his bed. They sat and Motoko pulled the link-cable from her neck. She handed it to Batou. He hesitated; sharing her headspace was always--

"Wait."

He jumped, his hand stopping just before the USB entered the drive. "Yeah?"

Motoko leaned down and under his arm, then against his chest. "Okay."

He stared down at her for a second that felt too long. He hooked the USB in and felt reality shift into the cybernetwork.

Motoko was still against his body, and their shared two-person cloud existed within his room. He felt the warmth of her body, a warmth that only existed here. He watched her lean into the bouquet and sighed.

"Jasmine... roses. Orange blossoms." She smiled lightly. {My favorite.} She looked back up at him, petals in her hair. He reached up with a hand and brushed them away.

"Do you know much about flower language, Batou?"

He laughed. "I know enough." He traced a finger over the pink rosebuds. Some had bloomed, others hadn't. The jasmine and orange blossoms blended in together. Motoko watched him, her eyes following his fingers across the blooms. "Appreciation, admiration, joy." {Attachment. Worth.}

The Major smiled. "So who were they for? I didn't know you had a girlfriend."

He laughed hard and pulled away from her. He doubled over in his lap. "Nobody would like an old guy like me, Major."

She laughed. Her fingers touched over the rose buds. She smiled to herself, her fingers delicate on the blooms. Batou watched, letting a final word go through the cybercomm. {Confessions.}

Motoko looked up; Batou wasn't watching her anymore. "What?"

"Don't make me."

Motoko's lips parted as she watched him. Here, his chest would thump with his heart beat. A dead giveaway. She laid her head against him. {...Batou.}

{Don't...}

"Batou." Motoko's voice trembled.

"You--" His voice choked. {They're for you.}

Motoko leaned into him, her face pressed into his shirt. Her brow was wrinkled. {A confession?}

He laughed and glanced to the side.

She leaned up, her lips pressing to his chin. {I accept.} Her warmth spread over him.

He closed his eyes, his arm tightening around her. He turned his body and pulled her into a hug.

 

***

{{{Do you know when you look at me}}}  
{{{It is a salvation}}}  
{{{I've been waiting for you so long}}}

**Author's Note:**

> jasmine -- joy, attachment, sensuality  
> pink rose -- admiration, appreciation  
> rose bud -- confession  
> orange blossom -- worth  
> http://languageofflowers.com/flowermeaning.htm
> 
>  
> 
> How Does It Make You Feel - Air  
> http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/air/howdoesitmakeyoufeel.html
> 
>  
> 
> I haven't watched GitS in far too long, I hope you enjoyed reading!


End file.
